Sometimes SL can be a lonely place. I'm not that good at making friends. I dunno why. Well, part of it is my name obviously attracts people that just wanna fuck a lot. But past that. I'm kinda weird. I don't ever feel comfortable IMing someone first until I've known them for a while or we have gotten comfortable with each other. I work a lot and sometimes hanging out means being at the club with me.
But sometimes dancing/escorting/managing get overwhelming and I just want someone to explore with. Play a game of greedy with. Cuddle. Go shopping. Be silly and run around tormenting people.
Ell is usually busy on her RP sim so I don't see her often. We IM constantly of course but we don't get much avatar face time. I spend a lot of time standing around my skybox or in the club alone or taking pictures.
I definitely don't meet a lot of men I feel connections with either. Hercule was ok at first, ages ago. He spoiled me and we spent time together on his sim but then he got....weird. He spent most of his time building and I would get bored standing there watching him while he occasionally TP'd me to where he was terraforming and would sometimes tickle me. Then he blamed me for not entertaining him enough. Whatevs. His English was hard to understand more often than not and he was high......again, more often than not.
Of course I miss Lu and shopping and fucking and dancing with him. And of course logging into presents from him. But I've already discussed that some in here.
Kovu has come back, again. On another new name. But I haven't seen him online at all. Just got a couple offlines and a friend request. Plus, when he came back last time I just ended up getting hurt again when he decided that since I wasn't on as much as I used to be before I had my RL BF that he'd write in his profile his "partner box didn't really matter". Still upset about that. I don't partner people easily. In fact there's been exactly two people in my 4+ years of SecondLife.
I dunno. I want more SL friends and I want a guy to be with in SL. Someone that makes me look forward to logging on and talking to them.
Bleh.
I should get some sleep. I have to get up early (for me anyways) to go to a manager's meeting for the club. I dunno what to expect from that. Maybe some complaining that I'm not on during the day. But I'm a nightowl. That's just how it is.
Okay, lookit. I've been reading your blog for a couple of months now. I really do like it. It can be funny and insightful and sometimes even kinda pissy. And I can relate. Sometimes, I feel like being funny or thoughtful or I'm just aggravated by the BS. Happens to everybody, right? Just depends on the day, I guess. The point is that it takes courage to put yourself out there on a blog and I admire that.
ReplyDeleteI hear what you're saying about how SL can be a lonely place sometimes. There can be lots of people around and lots of things to do, but some days, it's just like... fuck it. Blah. But, for the life of me, I don't understand how you say you're not good at making friends. Granted, reading your blog doesn't mean that I know you or that we're buds or something. But you seem like a very interesting person. I can't imagine how somebody wouldn't be intrigued. Unless, of course, they see your name and just want to fuck a lot. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I guess I just imagined that people, guys especially, would trip over each other vying for your attention.
Listen, I don't have any answers and I'm not trying to insert myself into your business, but... from this blog you seem like you might be kinda awesome. And if somebody who is kinda awesome can be all bleh and I can't make friends and all, then what chance does a schmuck like me stand?
The rest of my day might very well be filled with deeply philosophical thoughts about the nature of human interaction in SL. Or maybe I'll just go get some ice cream and walk around with my cock out. Either way.
You actually really made me smile. Thank you. ♥ lol. I might be interesting and fun and I think pretty friggin' awesome, but I DEFINITELY have more guys that either immediately ask for sex or talk to me for 30 mins or so and think that means we're close enough to fuck at that point. Hah. I've always been kind of awkward socially. In RL as well. I've been writing in some form since I was in sixth grade and I think it just comes naturally to me. Which you THINK would translate well to a chat based interaction platform like SL but....not so much. xD
DeletePlus I'm picky.... I really don't tend to socialize with many people that can't express themselves clearly through the written language and that right there probably knocks out a third of SL friendship possibilities. xD