Wordpress

Even though Blogger retracted their upcoming ban on adult material, I've still made a wordpress. I haven't decided fully if I'm going to be using completely that from now on or not, but just in case, here's the link. If I don't post here, check there.

https://omglilykitteh.wordpress.com/

So Bruce Willis wanted to be my Daddy today.

The photo op was worth the 10 minute free cuddle on his private beach.

xD

Have you ever SecondLifed?

If you haven't heard about Strawberry Singh's Monday Memes...well, she does Memes on Mondays! *laughs*

I haven't actually done one of her little blog entry ideas before, but this one looked fun, so I present Strawberry Singh's - Have you ever SecondLifed? 

1.] Have you ever owned a Sim in SecondLife?
Uhm. No. Not REALLY. Like right now, I don't own the Babygirls' sim, but I have access to do anything with it and...well. Basically what DJ has, I have available. So. No I don't OWN it but I.....something...it?

2.] Have you ever created content in SecondLife?
Yes! Nothing super fancy, but I make pictures and tattoos sometimes. I've made a few Slink nails, some gestures and a lounge build that is currently being used by Femboi Fantasies in world. :)

3.] Have you ever driven a vehicle in SecondLife?
YES! And crashed every single one of them. From cars, to TukTuks. Stealth Bombers and a go-karts and scooters and more. I'm actually better at flying then driving, but that isn't really saying much of anything.

4.] Have you ever gone sky diving in Second Life? 
Yes! Once or twice with Ell and Matt. 

5.] Have you ever played a sport in Second Life?
Nope!

6.] Have you ever gone clubbing in SecondLife?
I live in clubs. Pretty much literally. I mean, one of my skyboxes is on the Babygirls Escorts sim anyways. 

7.] Have you ever fangirled/fanboyed someone in Second Life? 
Uh, a little. I mean I've seen designers or bloggers out and about before and thought to myself "OMG THATS __________" but I've never actually managed to make myself say hi.

8.] Have you ever taken a picture of your avatar in water in SecondLife?
Yes.

9.] Have you ever taken a picture of a sunset in SecondLife?
Yes.

1o.] Have you ever taken a nude picture of yourself in SecondLife?
God, for a while there it would have been a better question to ask if I'd taken a CLOTHED picture in SecondLife.

11.] Have you ever dated in SecondLife?
Yes. I dated someone on my first SL account. When we split I left that account as well because all the friends I had on it were mostly HIS friends. Then I changed to my current account as my main. On THIS account I've had numerous guys interested in me and a few like...go hang out somewhere dates. But I've been partnered once as Slut Fallen and that was with Kovu. And now I'm...well. Off the market again, even if not partnered. Yet. Soon though maybe? I hope? Anyways.

12.] Have you ever had, or attended, a wedding in SecondLife?
I have attended a couple. One or two for a close friend and one or two as just a generic guest for people I SL work with. 

I haven't HAD one though. I go back and forth between wanting to have one sometime. On one hand I think they're kinda silly. But on the other, I'd love making a pretty venue and getting dressed up and having a big ridiculous party with all my/our friends. So. I dunno. Kovu gave me a pretty ring when he asked me to partner him, and I DID like that. I guess a SL "proposal" and "wedding" does sound super cute and romantic but I dunno. lol. I

13.] Have you ever engaged in sexual activity in SecondLife?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
yes.

14.] Have you ever been to Bukkake Bliss in SecondLife?
 yes actually! I knew a guy that was friends with the owner and apparently had one of the stone lions there named after him when he helped out with their tier when they were starting out. I don't know if that's true, but he never really lied to me or had a reason to, so it's probably true. I went there not long ago just to look around because I forgot it still existed. It hasn't changed  bit.

A quiet place.

Sometimes you feel like you need to be alone for a bit.

But then, maybe you were wrong.

Sometimes it's the little things.

It's funny sometimes how something can just cut you to the bone. Even when you take a second to think about it and you know that it wasn't anything, that initial gut punch of reading/hearing it just makes your heart stop. Then try to pound through your chest. Your breathing slows and your body shakes and your eyes tear and for that moment there's no semblance of rational thought.

That happened to me tonight. Sometimes it can be for something good. Sometimes it isn't. Tonight it wasn't.

It was just an avalanche of things. No. Avalanche isn't even the right word. That would imply that suddenly the ground shifted beneath me when this was more like... something that took some build up. More like a crack on the ice that I ignored. Fuck, that I followed even. And it kept splintering and there were parts that held together and a few small holes appearing until tonight when I just fell through.

And the thing is... it wasn't even really anyone's fault. Not really. Sure there were little things here and there that different people had done to contribute to it. But it wasn't something that could be blamed on anyone either. It was just the sum of the parts colliding in just the right way that I had to leave the computer to cry for a minute.

Logic kicks in eventually and things get calmed down. Nothing was done intentionally to hurt me. No one set out to knock the wind from my sails. It just happened. There are more things that can happen that at this point, after being discussed, would be more difficult to excuse.

And while temporary peace has been made in the situation, with a promise of something more permanent tomorrow, right now I just feel exhausted.

mentally, not physically.

weak.

vulnerable.

scared as fuck.

hopeful. and skeptical. and... very, very small.

Sometimes things are hard.

For the most part I have been happier in SecondLife recently than I have been in years. I'm working in a great place. I make plenty to be able to pay my tier and shop. My photography business has increased like, a million times over. Which isn't actually that much when you know how much I USED to get hired to do. Anyways.

Overall... things are wonderful and I can't think of a time when I've been genuinely this happy.

But sometimes things still get hard. Even when your brain knows something, your heart doesn't always want to agree. And tonight I don't really know which side is in the lead.

And I'm being cryptic. I know, I'm sorry.

I guess part of it is that there's always going to be a chance that the logical side is wrong. Or at least, mildly wrong.

The emotional side kind of feels like.... buh right now. It can't even really be put into words. I just feel... vaguely


buh.

bleh.

feeling a bit needy tonight, but i don't want to be annoying.

>.<

not quite sure what to do with myself. lol.

o hay bewbs.

Anyways.

Here's a pic.

oh. ok.

nevermind then i guess.

edit: i'm probably being melodramatic. i know. but still.

oh.

ok.